If you find yourself in a marriage with someone who is struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you already understand how rapidly situations can escalate for various unknown reasons. The disorder itself often forces those who suffer to create chaos in their lives, and in turn that can impact their closest relationships and particularly their spouse.
If you have children, it is exceptionally important to adhere to the recommendations outlined below.
The first order of business that is critical is in regards to the safety of you and your children. Those struggling with BPD are often not in control of their emotions, and the emotional swings that they may encounter.
1. Be sure to outline a safe place for you and your children, in the event a safe place is needed.
2. Keep accurate notes and diaries regarding the communications that have occurred between you and your spouse. These notes will help you recognize what is going on, and will not only help you retain your sanity, but they will also be critical pieces of evidence for you to use in your case.
3. Communicate carefully. You have clearly seen and learned by now, that mis-communication with someone who suffers from BPD can quickly escalate. Avoid the confrontation that your spouse clearly craves, and choose your words wisely. If there are topics that you are unable to address directly with your spouse, try to communicate them in a clear and concise format through either text or email.
4. Again, safety is so critical, and with your children their emotional and mental safety is important at such a difficult time. Avoid bringing your children into disagreements, or conversations or topics that might create a negative view of your spouse.
5. Whether you like it or not this disorder has wreaked havoc on your emotional well being. Seek out professional counseling, both you and your kids are going to need it.
6. Contact an attorney. We have worked on these types of cases, and they are difficult for all parties involved. We will help you navigate these murky waters to bring back calmness and clarity into your life, and into the lives of your children.
7. Your spouse may try to lash out, and this is very common. It is important to evaluate your online and offline relationships, as those people may become targets. Do not give your spouse anything to have which may place you in a compromising situation.
8. Speak with your relatives, so they are aware of your situation, as there may be times that you need their physical, or emotional assistance.
Divorce is difficult, facing divorce with The Mitnicks on your side can help make the process easier for you and your family.